My First Period
It wasn’t a regular weekend. My family and I were road tripping to Santa Fe for a wedding. My moms friend from college was getting married and she was so excited to see her old friends. Being an introverted kid, I was already feeling a little anxious about being around a lot of people.
Everything seemed to be going okay until we made it to the reception. My body was aching so badly I couldn’t tell if I was going to faint or if I had the flu. Priority #1 was not drawing any attention so I tried to stave off the debilitating and nauseating pain I was feeling. I finally cracked and told my mom. I was grateful she didn’t make a big fuss but even more relieved to have some solitude in our hotel room. I ripped my clothes off and face planted into the bed where I was lulled into sleep by the dull pain.
The next morning, I woke up dreading the 5hr drive we had ahead of us. I went to use the bathroom and THERE IT WAS. The dreaded menstrual monster I had been avoiding for years finally found me. I was what they call a “late bloomer” in every sense of the phrase. I was probably one of the last girls in my class to get my period, I waited to start wearing a bra until it was absolutely necessary (aka friends pointing out they could see my nipples 😂), and I was taking all my lessons from Peter Pan on how to stay a kid forever. But the dreaded day had arrived. I sat there STUNNED staring at the blob that had now ruined my underwear. All I could do was cry. I was absolutely NOT ready to be a woman. I still felt like a child and “how dare my body betray me like that?!” I felt like I was being forced to grow up when I wasn’t ready. Nope. I wanted NO PART of growing up and DEFINITELY no part of being a woman.
Once my mom managed to force herself into the bathroom to figure out why her 16 year old daughter was wailing uncontrollably, she immediately knew what was happening and sent my older brother to make himself scarce. My dad walked over like he was going to try to comfort me and I remember his face looked just as scared as I felt. My mom quickly interjected and ordered him to go to the store and he happily made a hasty exit to gather the supplies. On the 5hr drive back home, my family kept trying to fill the uncomfortable silence while I sat sulking with what felt like a mattress sized pad in my pants.
Lucky for me, my prayers were answered and I didn’t get my second period for another 12 months! The aftershock of my first period had since warn off and at 17yo I had started to accept my reality. This was the start of a very complicated and winding road that is a 21st century woman’s relationship to her self, her body, and her womanhood.
Growing up, I always felt it was wrong to talk about my period. I’ve since exchanged stories with friends (AKA sisters✨) and together we’ve laughed, cried, healed and everything in between. There is something so empowering about owning your story and sharing it. Our first periods mark the beginning of the most important relationship of our lives. The relationship with our SELF and our womanly power and essence. I’d love to hear your first period story! Were you ready to get your period? Were you scared like me? Was it funny, traumatizing, empowering, sad, exciting, beautiful? I’d love to hear!